Why You Should Stop Fighting for Your Dream
These days, whenever I hear talks of fighting for one’s dream, my body tenses up, and I start feeling heavy, and anxious, and disengaged; I hear struggle, and pain, and even someone losing; sweat and scarcity and adversity. Not a fun place to be, in relation to dreams (which are meant to be bright and happy and expansive and joyous).
It’s like we’re incessantly fighting something these days, especially when we have no reason to.
But maybe the last place we need to bring war into is our dreams! ⭐️
Who exactly are we fighting for our dreams? And, most importantly, why?
About a decade ago, I took part in one of those seminars where you get to learn and feel and know how powerful you actually are. 😁 I was meant to cross a suspended beam that was swinging heavily as it was being pushed by outside forces, and had to keep my balance as I headed towards my target – a dream I had declared.
It was pouring rain, so I kept slipping and falling in the mud, scratched and bruised, at some point blood literally running down my shin (I called it a war wound – can you hear the insanity there??) but I got up again and again, fought tooth and nail, screaming and shouting, frowning and tightening my fists, hitting my chest like Tarzan and roaring from deep within my belly (well, not literally, but you get the picture). That was the only way I knew how to connect to my inner power, the only way that was being “taught” back then – and while that IS one way to do it (an awesome and theatrical one, at that), it’s not the only way.
A long while later, I made it to my target, covered in sweat, mud and blood… Exhausted, but satisfied. Relieved, but not ecstatic. There was also a modest amount of applause, which I appreciated.
As I prepared to get off the beam, the facilitator stopped me.
“Now go back to the starting point, and do it all over again, but this time SMILING”.
I began laughing hysterically, as in that moment, it hit me deep!
It hit me so deep that I continued laughing as I started again, this time my body so loose, relaxed and alive, that it was literally dancing in the rhythm of the beam swinging left and right. I was not struggling or fighting to keep my balance, but simply allowing my body to become one with the beam, and dance with the changes coming from the outside forces, in complete trust and joy.
I made it to the target in a sweet short minute or two, hugged it laughing from deep within my belly (what do you know, there’s others ways of firing up that hara, that place of inner power!!) and I felt ecstatic, while everyone around was filling up the space with applause and laughter.
That was the last time I ever fought for my dreams
Three years later, at one of the 11 launching events of my book, I remembered that beam. The target I had walked towards that day had been “writing and publishing my first book”! I started laughing again, realizing that the entire process of writing, publishing and then going on the book tour was a complete dance of joy. 💃🦄
I know we used to glorify struggle.
I know it’s still glorified by some, who achieved their dreams that way, and don’t believe life can be a glorious joyous dance.
What I’m proposing is, what if that’s simply the old paradigm, and we can now make another choice?
In terms that might be familiar to some of you, and also terms the Integration Game is founded on, this is the difference between achieving our goals simply from masculine energy – constantly doing, and moving, and pushing, and attacking the problem, and finding the solution, devising the strategy, making a dozen plans, fighting, following the “no effort, no gain” paradigm
– and bringing in feminine energy in that entire process – allowing, trusting ourselves and others, asking questions, following our guidance and intuition, being in flow, relaxing and enjoying the process, following the “ease and grace” paradigm.
I think most of us have figured out by now that the journey is at least as important – and delicious – as the destination. We even put banners out there declaring that “It’s about the journey, not the destination”… And then we remind each other to “fight” for our dreams.
🧚♀️ What if I want to dance my way to my dreams, rather than fight it?
🧚♀️ What about a world where I can reach my dreams through ease and grace, rather than sweat and mud?
🧚♀️ What if I decided to test out the “ease and grace and joy” paradigm, just for a little while?
Let us shamelessly dream, and reach our dreams with ease and grace.
That is our wish for all of us! <3 😍